Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
