go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
