Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
