enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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