You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
