hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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