I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize