Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
