Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
