Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
