I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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