dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let's get the cat blown out
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
