D3 body, D1 cock
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
