Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
