so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize