so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
