Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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