Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
