stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
