I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
