I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
