he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
