oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
