the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
