I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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