Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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