Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We have started to decorate penises.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics â¤ï¸
Randomize
