someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
did you just send me my own nude
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
