Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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