the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
