I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
God I need to hump something, right now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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