yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When are your genitals available?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
