Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
