Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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