I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
