A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
