there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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