you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
