i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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