isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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