I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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