so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
