Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
