I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
