that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Someone signed my nipple.
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