would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
zippers are such a cool invention
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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