Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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