that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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