Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
