I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
