Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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